Demystifying the IO Monad for Rubyists

There is a terrible cycle which exists in the lifecycle of functional programmers. Monads are confusing at first so the programmer will read many articles explaining how monads are actually easy---which will fail to achieve any pedagogical goals due to the fact that the article is filled with self-referential language, leaving the programmer even more confused. Eventually, monads will click (like pointers, or pass-by-reference, or so many other concepts tend to eventually do), and the programmer will be happy and productive. Finally, after a few years working with this understanding, and after several discussions helping other programmers to better understand monadic abstractions, the programmer will write something explaining how monads are actually just delicious collections of meat, cheese, and vegetables wrapped in bread. The cycle has completed, and it will continue.This article will complete my contract with the dark lords of functional programming, and complete the cycle for myself. I hope it will be useful to you, dear reader, by some meaning of the word.